I spend less than 20 minutes a month on the phone, and those minutes are usually spent doing either of two things: 1) ordering food, or 2) trying to get directions to find someone at a pre-arranged meeting place. I hate talking on the phone for pretty much anything that can be done more efficiently through sms or email, and I really resent most people who call me when I’m not expecting their call and it’s not an emergency. So obviously it’s not a surprise why this recent comment by villanelles at dawn on Ask Metafilter explaining why phone calls suck really resonated with me:

Because phone calls are incredibly presumptuous! You’re basically inviting yourself unannounced into their home or wherever they may be at the moment. If phones had been invented after email they’d be regarded as the greatest social crime imagineable. Phones are useful for many things but I don’t think you’re crazy for preferring email for catching up with someone, it’s an excellent way to communicate a large amount of information. Email (or a text) says “Here is what I have to say, consider it and respond when you can,” a phone call says “TALK TO ME NOW, TALK TO ME NOW. I AM IN YOUR HOUSE TALK TO ME NOW” Not everyone thinks this way though so you’re going to get some friction, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

Related hateful things: people that leave me voicemail even though my voicemail message says I never ever listen to my voicemail so please text or email me instead; people that call you multiple times when you don’t or can’t pick up instead of just texting or email to let you know why they’re calling and why you should return their call; people that make long phone calls on public transportation; people that make any phone calls in restaurants.