Author: lia

five ways jane austen never died

Five Ways Jane Austen Never Died, by Samantha Henderson: “Cassandra is away, visiting our brother and sister and their innumerable brood. My mother is nursing a migraine with her feet up on the best sofa in the parlor. And Jane is coming up the stairs. I draw my modified Glock and stand, waiting in the shadows.” Short, sweet, and so very, very good. [ via kfan del.icio.us ]
Henderson links to her web-available stories at her site, samanthahenderson.com, so you should go over there and read them all post-haste! Shoo!

“no such thing as bad language”

lewisblack.jpg
Why do I keep forgetting how much I enjoy Lewis Black’s stand-up? I caught his most recent HBO special tonight, 2006’s Red, White & Screwed, and was charmed all over again by his curmudgeonliness. One theme of the show is how Black, a legendary pottymouth, is annoyed by having to tiptoe around cussing. He says,

There is no such thing as bad language. I don’t believe that anymore. It’s ridiculous. They call it a debasing of the language. No! We are adults. These are the words we use to express frustration, rage, and anger… in order that we don’t pick up a tire and beat the shit out of someone.

the sex life of a spam character

Lula Fink’s subject lines last week:

  • I just started having sex, and my boyfriend keeps popping out when we do it.
  • My boyfriend’s prick keeps slipping out.
  • I just started dating a guy I like, but his putz is on the small side and doesn’t really satisfy me
  • Can you tell me what’s wrong, and how we can fix it?

Lula Fink’s subject lines this week:

  • My boyfriend’s prick is too big for my mouth.
  • My new guy’s tool is enormous, and my mouth is tiny.
  • My boyfriend’s phallus is too big for my mouth.
  • When I tried to give him oral sex, I practically choked. How do I do it without gagging? Please help!