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procrasturbation

Funny comment on Ernie’s post about trying to unplug:

Procrasturbation, n. – Wasting time by doing a less onerous task. Particularly popular with freelancers and those who “work from home”. Example: rather than doing my taxes, i decided to finally do last year’s spring cleaning.

This got me thinking about my favorite ways to procrasturbate from particular things—I tend to answer my email backlog when I don’t want to work (but would feel too guilty browsing Flickr or Facebook), and when I don’t want to put away the clothes on my floor I usually take the trash out and sort the recycling. Actually, I’ve already worked out how to make procrasturbation work for me: I hate running so much that getting a treadmill would probably drastically improve both my productivity and my room’s tidiness. Alas, no space in my old school tenement apartment…

keith richards wears purple uggs

I put off reading The GQ Q&A: Keith Richards for a few days, which I came to regret after getting to the seventh paragraph, in which we learn that he wears purple Uggs. Let me repeat that: Keith Richards wears purple Uggs. Things just keep getting better and better the further you go—and I mean that non-ironically, you hipster asshole. This is seriously one of my favorite interviews of all time.

“give into the britney”

Favorite bit of FourFour’s latest America’s Next Top Model review:

“I cannot believe that there’s someone ON EARTH who’s so into being indie-cool that they wouldn’t own up to even having heard a Britney Spears song. And if that were true, wouldn’t avoiding Britney Spears’ frequently ubiquitous pop songs require a ton of time and effort? You want us to believe that you don’t care Lauren, but I think it’s obvious that you care too much. Revise and give into the Britney.”

I actually like Lauren a lot, because a) she takes great photos and b) most everyone I know and love is rebellious to the point of annoyance about something, but if Anil has taught me anything over the years, it is to not have any patience for when people are being snobby about pop culture. Also: “give into the Britney” is now in my lexicon.

vs naipaul, valetudinarian

VS Naipaul: The Long Arrival, by Robert McCrum. Good long two part piece on the man widely considered to be both the greatest writer in the English language and a total jerk; it makes me feel even guiltier than usual for not having gotten around to reading any of his work yet. Really though I am posting this mainly to say that you kind of really have to love a country in which a writer can just use the word “valetudinarian” in a newspaper and not have their editor change it or make them explain it, just letting it sit in context. Vive la reine!

falling into vous

I have a confession to make, something that’s been churning inside me for a long time, waiting to be let out. There is a truth that needs to be told and that truth is this: I kind of really, really love Céline Dion.
One sleepless night years ago I watched Oprah’s behind-the-scene special of her Vegas show right before it opened and I realized that, as Rich of FourFour put it recently after watching her DVD special, she is “a fucking spaz. There’s almost a druggy effect due to her aforementioned goody-goody rep: watching this stuff, I felt high because I could not believe that boring old Céline was capable of being such a ball of weirdness. Her M.O.R. reputation is hilarious because she is, in fact, all over the road.” If you cannot imagine this, and believe me I understand why because I was once like you, all will become clear after watching this clips reel he put together:

Right? She crazy! You might not ever want to hear the Titanic theme ever again—no one does—but you can’t tell me that that is not a person whose goofiness you’d find endearing if you met her in the flesh.
P.S. Like Rich, my love does not extend to her music except for two songs—a good pop song is a good pop song, and I keep it real. The title of this entry gives the first away, feel free to speculate on the second one or confess your own affection in the comments.
P.P.S. If you too have love in your heart, you will find the Céline Dion Workout parody pleasing.

my perfect computer

“The recent launch of the MacBook Air has made me think a lot about my perfect computer, which the Air is not. (…) It has a special mode so you can safely use it on an airplane during takeoff or landing, and you don’t have to take it out of your bag when you go through security because the people at the FAA love it so much. If you have writer’s block, it comforts you.” I love all geegaw.com posts but this is my favorite one in a really long time.